boudoir shooting
– Why you should banish people who try to badmouth your underwear photos from your life.
(Hypothetical conversation that every woman with revealing pictures / boudoir pictures on her Instagram account has experienced):
“But tell me, why do you have so many half-naked pictures on your Instagram account?”
"Guys, the answer is very short (pun intended - haha): Because I want to. Because I feel good and want to show that. I'm not showing any forbidden things here, and especially not any inauthentic, fake things that could lead others to doubt themselves. I'm showing a woman who went through a lot of self-doubt and many hard and also beautiful moments to get to this moment. And yes, maybe in addition to personal development, in my case physical development (sports) is also part of it, or maybe not. That makes no difference in the matter itself."
You have to fight to regain your self-confidence.
Yes, that is a bit strange – but let’s be honest: who is born with self-doubt as a child? I’m going out on a limb and saying NOBODY. Everything is cool, you run around the playgrounds of the world as fast as you can, your hair disheveled, sand on your face and you’re the hero because you’ve built the biggest sandcastle. Then suddenly things like long hair, big breasts, a small waist and a well-trained bottom become important. Perfect skin becomes the new “goal” and cellulite is the biggest enemy. This self-doubt comes with age, with the first “self-feeling”. Parents, friends, teachers – the environment plays a big part in this. Nowadays we also count social media as part of your environment, after all you probably spend a lot of time on Instagram and the like.
Have you seen the tool on Instagram that measures your daily usage time? Take a look and assess yourself. It's really exciting to see how much of your day you spend there.
Strengthen your self-confidence.
Boudoir shoots are a way to boost your self-confidence. It's an experience, something you do for yourself, like going to the hairdresser or beautician. You treat yourself and get an outside view of yourself as a person. The photographer sees you in a completely different, much more distant light than you do yourself. He interprets you in the way other people do every day in everyday life. (By the way, in 99% of cases this is much more positive than our own image of ourselves). He sees the sandcastle builder in you, the woman with the courage to pursue her dreams and the relentlessness to achieve them - or your delicate introversion that makes you seem mysterious. The result - the pictures - are often just the icing on the cake, your tangible memories. The real experience happens during the shoot itself. More on that elsewhere. That's powerful stuff! If self-doubt is caused by the environment, then self-confidence should also be able to be controlled to a certain extent by it...
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Wow, wow, wow. That is one of the most instructive sentences I have ever heard. Look at yourself in the mirror. No, be honest. Do it. Right now. Go and do it. And ask yourself: who do I spend the most time with? Who are my "Big 5"? What do these people stand for? Do you look up to each one of them in a particular way? Now comes the hard truth: if the answer is "no" for someone, you should banish them from your everyday life. If you have the feeling that the person does not support you or your path, or is holding you back, then they do not belong in your life. Why should they? Putting obstacles in your own way somehow doesn't sound like a clever idea.
You don't owe anyone anything.
Quickly said and not understood. Let the sentence find its way into your head and internalize it. It is not meant negatively at all. There is nothing wrong with people who were once in your life for a while no longer having a place there. We all grow, sometimes in different directions. And that is somehow great, because everyone can fully live out their strengths and interests and thus their potential. This is how we become our "best selves". If someone doesn't begrudge you your physical fitness, or doesn't understand why you have a few nice photos taken with your supposedly "too wide thighs" (whatever the hell that means...), then you shouldn't put that person in your top 5. If you want to grow in something, then the best way to do it is through your environment. And that includes your environment being tolerant and open, speaking your "inner language" and supporting your plans. These are the people who cheer you on along the way when you run your first marathon; those who are happy to give you honest feedback on your new idea and those who celebrate your boudoir photos because they see a strong person with character in the pictures - regardless of whether they would act the same way themselves. The people who rock at your boho wedding and have a complete princess concept themselves. These people see you for you, with your personal strengths - they see your potential and understand that they themselves can be completely different and that is a strength. And that is super important.
We are not here to simply exist.
We live and make the damn best of it. Give yourself and the others the chance to do that and let them move on if necessary. No regrets - pride. You don't do a boudoir shoot for anyone else, but for yourself. You are free to share it with others. But it always remains "yours". If someone asks you why you are doing a boudoir shoot and your answer "because I want to" is not enough, then honestly: see you later! Be open and empathetic, but not naive and never let yourself be belittled. As long as your actions don't harm anyone, you have every right in the world to do it. Find people who see it that way too and goddamn do it!
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Photos: Ingo Heinig Photography
